It is the rare child who is truly potty trained before the age of three. Most children just aren't physically or mentally capable of making the transition from diapers to underpants before this age.
Parents are Trained, Not the Child
You may be able to tell when your child is about to have a bowel movement or even when she is about to pee, but scooping her up and placing her on the toilet in time for this to happen in the toilet and not in the diaper does not mean your child truly comprehends what using the toilet is. It simply means you timed it right. Essentially you’ve trained yourself to watch for the signs and react accordingly.
Pushing Too Soon Creates Battles
Forcing your child to use the potty before she is ready will only make her more resistant to the potty training process. As a result, toilet training becomes a battle creating anger and frustration in both parent and child. Becoming toilet trained is a huge step for a child and one that shouldn’t be filled with fear and anxiety.
Kindergarteners Don’t Wear Diapers
If your child is developmentally healthy and reaching all the milestones at an acceptable pace, don’t worry if she seems like she enjoys being in those diapers a little too much. Like learning to walk and learning to talk (two things you didn’t push to happen before your child was ready!), your child will be potty trained when she is physically and mentally ready to do so, not before. She will not be wearing diapers when she starts kindergarten so don’t worry!
Signs Your Child is Ready to be Potty Trained
- your child shows an interest in using the potty and is comfortable sitting on one
- your child can communicate that she needs to go to the bathroom
- your child can dress and undress herself
- your child is having longer periods of dryness through out the day
- you child speaks of no longer wearing diapers
Keep it Stress Free
When your child is ready to begin the toilet training process, keep the procedure as stress free as possible. Always have extra pants on hand, know where public washrooms are and don’t expect your young child to “hold it” – when children have to go, they have to go “now!” Have your child sit on the toilet before leaving the house or before getting back in the car as children are not capable of predicting that they will need to pee soon – they only know when they really have to go.
Diapers do become a nuisance after a few years and yes they are expensive. However, a few more months of having them in the house is better than a child who is terrified of or extremely resistant to using the toilet due to an overly eager parent pushing potty training too soon. Don’t worry! Your child will be out of diapers! Just ask the kindergarten teacher!
sources: Leach, Penelope. Your Baby and Child. NY: Alfred A. Knopf, 2000
