Potty Training Basics
Strategies to Make a Frustrating Childhood Milestone Less Traumatic
Mar 1, 2009
So you're a parent or a nanny tired of changing diaper after diaper for an ever-growing toddler. But your toddler is perfectly content with the status quo. How can the potty be introduced as a fun and necessary part of the child's development?
Introduce the Potty Training Concept
Toddlers are at an age where they start to understand simple, direct explanations with justifiable reasons given for why something occurs. Explain to the child why using the toilet is a necessity, and how he cannot be in diapers for the rest of his life. Some preschools require children be potty trained as well; if this is something the child looks forward to, use that as an explanation. Answer any questions the child may have. Present this as a positive life change instead of a troublesome process.
Use Visual Aids
Children are very visual creatures and struggle with abstraction. Remember, all the child knows is diapers. Potty training books like the 1977 classic Everyone Poops by Taro Gomi, as well as newer ones on the market, can be effective ways to foster understanding and bonding. Additionally, there are videos created specifically for this process.
Another great tool is an achievement chart. Much like the ones used in schools, these charts often list individual steps – in this case, steps of successful potty training (pull down pants, sit on toilet, go, pull pants up, flush, wash hands, etc.). Children can receive a sticker next to each step they complete successfully on each bathroom trip to emphasize their achievement.
There are many toileting aids out there. One option is small seat that fits on top of a regular toilet so the child doesn't fall in. These often have popular characters on it from Sesame Street or other children's shows. Another is a small, child-sized toilet placed in the bathroom that can be emptied when the child is finished using it. These often have bright colors and music for encouragement. Let your child pick out what the wants, because if he's excited about it, he'll be more inclined to use it.
Reward Successes and Successful Tries
Children are creative and will come up with many excuses not to use the potty if they do not want to. At first, reward the child every time he makes an attempt, regardless if there is a successful deposit. This can be parent praise, or some small tangible, like a single Skittle or fruit snack.
When the child starts making deposits, use very excited, positive praise. Every deposit should be rewarded with something predetermined, like a box of animal crackers, being allowed to watch a particular show, etc. That way, references can be made throughout the day to the reward and what has to be done to get it ("Let's have a yummy cupcake, Layla! Let's get on the potty!") Frequently referring to a desired object can motivate a child to continue the desired behavior.
After the child has been making deposits consistently, set up a big reward. If the child goes X number of times in a day or week (parents need to individually determine a length of time or criteria for this type of reward) without having any accidents, he should be allowed to choose a large reward. Examples include sports jerseys, a more expensive toy or a special trip to a favorite place like Chuck E. Cheese.
Continue using verbal praise and constantly reminding the child that the reason he attained his special gift was because of his success on the potty.
Don't Push Training too Hard
There is no magic, standard "right" time for children to be potty trained; some are more resistant than others, particularly boys. Allow the child to dictate when he is ready. A little pushing if the child seems extremely resistant isn't necessarily a bad thing; just be sure to keep it to a minimum. For example, lead the child to the bathroom and "ooh" and "aah" over the toilet and repeatedly promise the child a reward for trying. However, if a child gets upset, it's time to stop; making this a traumatic experience now will only have undesirable repercussions later.
Remember, there will most likely be accidents, tears and fights. Parents and caregivers need to stay consistent with their explanations, encouragements and reward systems to ensure proper potty training development.
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